This is probably one of the questions I get most from other moms, and I’m the first to admit that we are still smack dab in the middle of navigating this with our teen daughters, so we’re learning right alongside you. But what I can say is we’ve found a few resources that have been super helpful in starting this conversation, and maintaining it, over the years.
Talking about sex with your kids can be one of the most intimidating topics that parents face. It’s one that most of us want to run for the hills from, and try to put off as long as possible simply because we don’t want it to be awkward. However, my husband and I are finding that kids need to have these conversations in the home FIRST before they start hearing about it in places like school, and from friends on the playground.
Kids don’t want to feel caught off guard when they hear other children talking about something related to this topic. They want to feel informed and in the “know”. Being proactive with these conversations gives your kids confidence and prepares them for the “playground talk” that we all know is inevitable.
Making sure they hear things from you, first, is also important because it gives you as the parent, the opportunity to give your children a healthy interpretation of sex. We wanted to share all of this with our girls through a faith lens and make sure that they understood the beautiful gift that it is.
We have found some faith-based books that have been helpful resources for us as we have these conversations. The first set of books that we have used is the four book series titled:
God’s Design for Sex, by Stan Jones and Brenna Jones.
What I like about this series is that it is four books designed for four different age groups so it’s an age appropriate graduation of information that helps guide parents to begin the discussions early. The first book is for ages 3-5, the second book is for ages 5-8, the third is for ages 8-12, and the fourth is for ages 12-16.
You can find the set HERE.
The second book that I like is geared for tween and teen girls, and it’s called:
Secret Keeper: The Delicate Power of Modesty, by Dannah Gresh
This is a great book for tween/teen girls to read on their own as it speaks to the power of modesty, self worth, and how modesty also expresses your love for and obedience to God. It’s a small book and a quick read, but it packs a punch. You can find it HERE.
Last, but certainly not least, this is one of my favorites. This book is meant for middle school and high school girls and it’s called:
The 7 Secrets Guys Will Never Tell You; A Teen Girl’s Guide on Love, Sex, and Relationships, by Jackie Brewton
Jackie is an author and public speaker who shares her message with middle school and high school students to help them have bigger dreams, make better decisions, and have brighter destinies. I had the opportunity to hear Jackie speak and she was incredible! For a teen girl, this book is a page-turner and will encourage them to put off dating until they’re ready, wait to have sex until they’re married, and give them insight about how to spot the “great guy” and stay away from the “player”.
Jackie’s website has a lot of other great resources as well. You can find them HERE.
I know sex is a tough topic to talk about with your kids, but it’s so important. Keeping the conversation as comfortable, honest, authentic, and frequent as possible will help normalize it and make your home a safe place to ask questions, talk, and work through situations as they come up. Oh, and don’t forget to keep praying for your children’s future spouses, and their purity. That’s just as important! Check out my post on praying for your children HERE!